All About Mom

I was thinking about my trip today and discussing it with some of the guys here at the fire station (I’m in the middle of our 48 hour weekend shift – it’s been an interesting weekend so far!) and I realized that it’s been 9 1/2 years since my mom passed away from brain cancer.

Many of you who are reading this blog didn’t know me 9 1/2 years ago, and therefore were never lucky enough to meet my mom.  Since she is the inspiration behind this entire trip I figured that it would be a good idea to tell you guys a little bit about her.

The problem with telling you guys about her is that I still choke up at times and there is no way I can convey just how awesome she was in a single post.  So what I’ve decided to do is to post the eulogy that I gave at her funeral.  This is the 1st time that it’s been shared since the day that I read it at the funeral.  While it’s a little dated, and while I’ve grown a lot since it was written close to 10 years ago, it still paints a great picture of the type of person mom was.  I hope that by reading it you are able to see just what an amazing woman she was and why I would want to understake an adventure such as this in her memory.

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Eulogy Given at the Funeral of Kathleen Wilson Lawrence as recited by Drew Lawrence:

Among many other things, John F. Kennedy will always be remembered for his famous quote, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”  President Kennedy must have been thinking about someone like Kathleen Wilson Lawrence when he said that.  3 presidential administrations, 1 governorship, Under-Secretary of Agriculture under President Reagan, staff assistant to President Nixon, etc., etc., etc.  The list is long and distinguished.  That was Kathleen Wilson Lawrence; that was Mrs. Lawrence.

But that is not who she was to me, to me she was mom.  My mom who stayed up until 3am one Halloween morning in order to finish sewing my California Raisin costume so that I could wear it to school that morning.  My mom who would come home from work so that she could be home for family dinner and then drive back into D.C. and stay at her desk until 1 or 2am.  My mom who never missed a soccer game, a swim meet, or a Christmas Play at school.  My mom who volunteered in the lunch line at St. Mary’s when I was a kid and made everyone that walked thru it say please and thank you.  My mom, who despite being in a wheelchair for weeks, pulled together the strength to stand up and walk out to center court with her walker on the night of my last home basketball game so that I could give her a hug, say thank you for everything, and tell her that I love her.  And my mom, the woman with the greatest smile ever, the neatest handwriting I’ve ever seen, and a voice that no one will ever forget.

Speaking of things that I will never forget; the night of February 22nd, 2001 falls into that category.  That afternoon an MRI confirmed that mom’s cancer was back.  I got from school to the hospital as quickly as I could so that I could be there with mom and I ended up spending the night in the hospital with her.  We had a really long talk that night and I asked her, “Mom, how do you want to be remembered when all is said and done?”  She turned and looked at me with that great smile of hers and said, “I want to be remembered as a loving parent to my 3 incredible children, as a fun grandparent to my 3 grandchildren, and as a true friend to everyone who has ever known me.”  Quite modest wishes compared to everything that she accomplished during the course of her live.  But that just goes to show you that she was a mom, my mom, long before and long after she was Mrs. Lawrence.

My family had an open house this past Monday so that people could come in and pay their respects to mom and to the rest of the family.  As I walked around I overheard a few conversations and I couldn’t help but have this feeling that mom was right there with us.  From the conversations about how even when she was battling her own cancer she took the time to call others and wish them well, to the story about how when she was in the hospital she spoke to the son of a very good friend on the phone to remind him that his prayers were not in vain that even if she did die God always answer our prayers, just maybe not the way we would like him to.  Or, that even in her final days, when she was stuck in a bed and could not walk, how she promised that she would do everything in her power to make it up to the hospital to visit my sister Mary when she was sick.  And then there was the 1 story that could be heard over and over again, the exact same story, but different people telling it.  No matter how sick mom was, she ALWAYS managed to SOMEHOW put on that infamous smile of hers and talk to anyone that came by the house or called.  And she ALWAYS said, “Don’t worry about me, I’m doing just great, how are YOU doing?”

And that’s exactly how mom was — kind, loving, and always worried about how other people were doing.  I’ll never forget the weekend right after mom’s surgery, that Friday night there was a regional football championship game being played at my high school; Stonewall vs. Strasburg.  Mom was so mad that she was “stuck in this crummy hospital room” and could not make it to the game.  So, Mr. and Mrs. Weaver graciously taped the game for mom, and I took it down for her to watch the next day.  Well, let me tell you, mom was cheering so loudly that the nurses came running in to make sure that she was OK – and what did mom do?  She invited them in to watch the game with her.  Even when she was stuck lying in bed after being told she had MAYBE 10 months to live she was more concerned about the General winning the football game.

Not only did mom always put her kids and others 1st, she always bragged about her kids, her grandkids, and her friends, and never about her own achievements.  I doubt there is a single person in this church who did not hear from mom that I got into UVA, that Eric had drawn her a new picture, that Kevin had won the Best Delegation award for the Model United Nations, that Carly had called on the phone to say “hi” to grandmother, or that Alice Hayes (her best friend from high school) was a proud new grandmother.  Yes, she most certainly was an incredible woman!

Many of you gathered here this evening have known mom since long before I was born, some of you were lucky enough to know mom for maybe 2 years, and a few of you never had the chance to meet her.  But even those that were never lucky enough to meet mom have come up to me and said, “Drew, I never got to meet your mother, but I wish that I had, because it certainly sounds as though she was a phenomenal lady.”
Phenomenal, loving, elegant, intelligent, proper, kind, brave, sincere, thoughtful, trustworthy, incredible, funny, amazing, dedicated, hard-working, understanding, generous, forgiving, beautiful, and a fighter.  These are just a FEW of the ways to describe my mother, but the word that she was most proud of and the word that I will always remember her by is simply MOM.

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Mom had a very strong faith too, and a deep devotion for the Virgin Mary (I was raised Roman Catholic – as was she, but she was raised Pre-Vatican II so she was used to the ‘old school’ Catholic way).  Her favorite prayer was the Memorare and I think it’s fitting for me to post that prayer here:

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.